When peace is part of you, there is a great calmness and comfort, a feeling of love; your body relaxes and your mind becomes quiet. You’ve entered a realm where time stops for a moment. Where freedom feels like it’s yours again. Your smell and sight are more aware. Every colour of the rainbow seems brighter. The frequency of your hearing becomes much more clear, nature begins to speak to you. Nothing else concerns you expect the here and now. Peace is accepting, compassionate and gentle, yet can be so illusive. With so many distractions in life, it can be very hard to find. There are many places to find external peace, by rivers: lakes, parks, in the wilderness, among nature, by the ocean, in the mountains, perhaps in your own back yard. I’m talking about the internal kind, the peace within yourself. Sitting in a silence with God can invoke feelings of serenity. Turning off internal dialogue, negative thinking, closing the door from your past and shutting the one to your future.
Those doors have timers on them though, and they eventually open back up. Flooding your space with noise and confusion and questions. Clearing your mind takes a lifetime of practice. Life is just a series of storms, each time they pass, you have the opportunity to learn more. What went right, what went wrong, where your weaknesses are. How adjustments need to be made; what worked and what didn’t. I’m still leery of storms, but I’m learning more and more with each passing one how to sail my ship. It’s damn near sunk on me a time or two. Yet between the storms, before and after; the waters are still, the skies are clear and the views are amazing!
This is not the time to rest on your laurels. That’s when the work has to be done. Even though the storm has passed and clear skies surround you, there is always another one brewing just beyond the horizon. After this last storm, I’m rebuilding a few sections from splinters. It’s tedious work; putting all those pieces back together again. Yet I have the chance to build my mast a little taller and stronger than before. I have my moments when I wallow in self-pity, my journey has been far from easy. Self-pity has never got me anywhere. Only a fool is fearless. A certain amount of fear is healthy, too much fear is crippling, it’s a fine balance that keeps you alive.
I’ve weathered a few hurricanes in my life thus far. There’s a place at the center of a hurricane called “The eye”. This is where the waters calm down, the clouds part and if you look straight up, you can see blue sky. The wind dies down, the rain stops. This is only a temporary place. You have only made it half way through, yet it gives you a chance to catch your breath. Clear the debris from your deck, reassess and tighten your sails. At first you get caught in the storm, yet this time you have to sail into it, because you are only half way through.
It’s peaceful and scary in the eye of the hurricane, your mind plays tricks on itself. Doubt, fear, a healthy dose of humility: hopelessness, anger, frustration and exhaustion overtake you, Yet something in your guts tells you to persevere, buckle up and keep riding the waves. Once you have done all you can do, the only thing left is to pray. Pray for help, and pray to God that you’ll make it out the other side. This last storm caught me off guard. Just when I thought the worst was over, there were other plans for me, then my own. I became complacent. One thing I’ve learned from this pain, is that operating on self will is hardly a success. Serenity is peace within the storm
I’ve limped my ship back to port. I’m going to be here a while, as I make the necessary repairs. Recall where I went wrong, reach out for help, listen to others who have conquered similar storms. Mend my wounds and find that peace I once knew, if only for a few moments.