Awareness, Acceptance and Action! The First “A” Awareness starts in the mind, a conscience decision to observe my behaviour and surroundings, to identify with my emotions and feelings, others reactions to my response and how it effects me and the situation I find myself in. When I am disturbed, I’ve learnt that it’s not so much what needs to be changed in the world around me, as to what needs to be changed in me! Taking responsibility for that and reflecting on my attitude and how I can improve.

The second “A” – Acceptance, is a lot about letting go and letting God, trust and faith. Accepting the situation as it is and not how I wish it to be…which leads to the last and most valuable third “A” – Action. What am I willing or NOT willing to compromise on, re-evaluate my values and morals. Using that valuable tool – “For every year of sobriety I gain 1 second of “pause”, before responding”. Using that pause before I react or respond to people, places, things and situations, an agreement that I am ultimately powerless over these things, yet determining what IS within my circle of control.

I have a huge tendency to be passive, or passive aggressive – a learnt behaviour from others around me, which inevitably causes my situation to worsen. It’s like running on auto-pilot, blaming the equipment, rather then taking full responsibility for my role I played; feeding entitlement, self centeredness and self pity. I have a long and tumultuous history of blaming others, pointing fingers, passing the buck, acting like the victim, which eventually led to my downfall, fed my addiction and fuelled suicidal attempts.

I value the “Quality” of my sobriety much more than the “Quantity” of my sobriety, that requires Action on my part and a willingness to change. My need for immediate change – I call the “Microwave Oven Solution” (“Ding & Done), must be curbed by perseverance of progress NOT perfection. That is just another step in my recovery which requires faith, action, patience, self-care and trust in the not yet seen,

There is still much more change and improvement to make in myself. I truly do not know as much as I think I do, and keeping an attitude of – “The only thing I know, is that I know noting at all” will keep me in a place of humility, more kindness and love and we could all use a little bit more of that! Stay real my friends – it’s good to be back again…